I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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