I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
