this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
