why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
