I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize