Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I had to cum in my sink.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
