my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
