Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
