Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize