it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize