Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't deserve a penis
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
