I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
this just has baby written all over it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize