just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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