You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
