On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
