I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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