This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
