thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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