3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize