I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
