grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
