Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
