My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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