It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I have vodka in my lungs
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
