Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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