do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
