The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
50% drunk capacity currently
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Randomize
