I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
