WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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