I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
