How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
