I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
