Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
