He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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