so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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