i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
