He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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