My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
