i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
