Already got asked if we're dating
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
