His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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