You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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