no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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