My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
