I only kidnapped one of them. chill
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
