There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize