My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
