Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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