and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
