Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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