Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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