Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I am mentally ready for anal.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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