it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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