apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
