Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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