I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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