Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
