who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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