Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
