I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's shark week go big or go home
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
